I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
