Me too!
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
