youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
