Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
