if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
and you fell through a lawn chair
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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