i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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