that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
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