sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
This show inspires me to have sex in space
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
