She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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