They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
