I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I wish you could order shots online.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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