He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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