Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
