She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
