Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
