Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize