FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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