is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
