Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I wish I only lived at night.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
