just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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