just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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