just tell him i said nine months
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
