Midget sex pt 2 tonight
After last night, I could never be a politician.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
