i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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