Umm I'm too high to move.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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