This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
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