i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
