He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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