I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
