3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
