i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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