my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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