I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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