I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
