I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
