You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize