cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
it glows. i had to have it.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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