your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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