Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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