Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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