I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
