i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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