So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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