Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I need moral support for this bender
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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