What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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