What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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