Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Randomize
