I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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