if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
false alarm. still invincible.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
