oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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