forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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