We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
