I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
