Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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