she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
