And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize