We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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