i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
