We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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