So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
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