Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
